You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
