i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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