I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize