I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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