I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
