fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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