Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
