As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
