Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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