we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
PANTIES FOUND
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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