I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
