Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
