if i can run in heels then i can drive
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
