I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
