Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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