So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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