When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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