Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
