they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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