Soap is not a condiment
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
