there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
