My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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