How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
