Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
