Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He keeps bees of course he's weird
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
