She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
