so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
