I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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