Already got asked if we're dating
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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