Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
