I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize