Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Still dying that you shit outside
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
