my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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