what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The best revenge is premature balding
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
