pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sorry about my life...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
