The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
