Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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