Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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