At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
