she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
