we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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