Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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