You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she smelled like a LAN party
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
