Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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