I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
