he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
