she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
