just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just found puke in my bra..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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