the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
