Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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