im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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