why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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