my vag is so smooth its legendary
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
