But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
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Do I have a choice?
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U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
PANTIES FOUND
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