This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
