ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
