Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize