The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
