This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
