chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
