just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
