Sponge bath it is.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
