What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
