8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
