She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
